Many folks don’t know that I have, well had, two sisters. They may know of or have met my big sister Debby. But I also had a sister Connie. She passed away on Saturday. I am saddened by this in a totally selfish way. Connie and I have never been close. She was three years older than me whereas Debby is six years older than me. I don’t know why Connie disliked me. She never told me and if she told anyone else they haven’t shared. I feel truly sorry about this. For years I took the high road sending birthday and holiday cards with no response. She was informed of the birth of my children and some of the major life accomplishments along the way. No response. When my youngest graduated from high school and there was still no response I admit I gave up. I stopped sending cards and making any effort. I would hear about her on occasion from Debby or my brother who she would occasionally speak to. And now she is gone and the chance to make amends or at least find out why is gone and this saddens me. Selfish, yes, but still. I would love to say that she made a positive impact while she was alive but alas I don’t know that either. I know she was married for a very short time but I never met him and as I said they weren’t together long. I don’t know what she did for a living or what she did for fun. But I know that she was a troubled woman who could hold a grudge whether real or imagined for a very long time. I am saddened that I am saddened more by the loss of what could have been rather than what was. I know that you can’t make someone like you but when that someone is family it hurts that much more.
Welcome to this peek into the mess that is my mind and thanks for allowing me to vent. If this makes you reach out to someone estranged in your life that is terrific if it allows you to know that you are not alone in your situation that is cool too.
It is sad that the pictures I have of her are so old but I thought I'd share.
Connie,David, me, Debby
Connie is the one with the glasses
Connie is the tall one in the back