Monday, July 18, 2011

Thoughts on being a parent of a gay child

When my children were born I prayed that they would be happy and healthy.  I did not pray that they would be happy, healthy and heterosexual. 

My daughter is gay.  I am not sure that we didn’t know it quite early on but as I worked in a non-traditional role and encouraged her to try everything we had nothing concrete to point to.  She was the opposite of me in just about every aspect.  She was the “good child”.  She is good at music and math.  She is petite and good looking.  So I may have just sloughed off any hints as that’s just who she is.  And I would have been right. 

As the “good child” she aimed to please.  Up to the point where she actually got engaged to a boy from her circle of friends.  That broke off while she was at college and she came out.  At first we thought oh she’s bi-curious or it’s just a phase.  I am pretty sure this time was the most hurtful for her.  She felt as if she was failing us in some way when in fact we were failing her.

I look at this young woman and realize that all I’ve ever wanted was for her to be happy and healthy.  My love for her is not contingent on who she loves.  Goodness knows I’ve made some poor choices in that regard even if it was more socially acceptable.  I am extremely proud that she knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin. 

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